"Sometimes" and other exercises in futility

It's funny how creative types stand in the way of their own ability to create. What's funnier are the excuses and stories we create around the reasons for a lack of action. I began this blog with an honest but insincere preface of not wanting to commit to a certain posting schedule because my creative energies might lead me elsewhere. That was...bullshit! I didn't want the pressure of having to commit myself to a specific posting schedule because sometimes I'm lazy. Sometimes I'm self absorbed. And because sometimes I'm off somewhere rolling around in the self-inflicted drama of my life.

Had I been honest, I would have said: "Sometimes, instead of creating stuff, I just like to think about it. Instead of creating stuff, sometimes I like to imagine I did because I thought about it. Instead of creating stuff, a lot of times I like to live vicariously through my favorite authors and artists and tell myself that since discipline comes with age I'll be a creative old fart one day."

Sometimes the answer isn't in planning or envisioning or thinking or practicing. It's in doing and being and creating and realizing that sometimes is a cop-out!

Happiness Plateau

Today I had an interesting conversation with my husband. I told him that lately I've been feeling sort of, well....blah. I'm happy with my life but I keep feeling like 'so you're happy, now what?' It's like a happiness plateau.  I've tried hard to ignore it because the feeling doesn't seem to add up. I'm the most fulfilled I have been in a very long time. I've got a great job that I thoroughly enjoy. I finally started my blog. I've got the free time I've been craving to spend with friends and family. We finally started re-decorating our house. For all practical purposes, I finally have a "normal" life.

So what's the problem??!!

Well first let me confess that I still don't know, but I've boiled it down as best I can to a few things.

• I'm used to having a certain amount of drama in my life. I'm not talking Jerry Springer here. I mean crises. I'm used to constantly having to juggle the various dilemmas of balancing work and family and I don't really have that problem now.
• Maybe I'm getting the proverbial "itch". You know, maybe I'm getting the m...ma..maternal instinct. There! I said it. 
• Maybe the world's gonna end in 2012.....*crickets*...bwahahaha!

Okay, seriously! Like I said I don't have it all figured out. In an attempt not to jinx myself I will only say this. Reaching a life plateau can be a valuable thing. It has given me the time to examine, analyze and revisit several areas of my life. Living a drama free life can be uncomfortable in a culture that craves and celebrates drama and crises. When you reach a plateau period in life, there can be a tendency to undermine its value and incite drama because that's a comfort zone. The best advice I have to give is when you reach a fresh, sunny, quiet place in life, sit still a while and take it all in.

Unapologetically Me

I often hear from people who seem to view me as some sort of anomaly -- an exception to the rule. While I find it flattering, it often makes me wonder what exactly it is that sets me apart from the crowd.

For starters, I never try intentionally to stray from the beaten path. Seeing others with the ability to assimilate quietly and fly under the radar in a crowd has always been a trait I secretly envied. I mean, it's not always easy to be the girl who sticks out like a sore thumb. I often feel that my action an thus, my life are under close scrutiny. However, I've long since abandoned any hope of living incognito and have committed to being the somewhat mysterious, eclectic, lady of intrigue, unapologetic in my quest to learn and be more.

As with any decision, there are pros and cons. Here are a few:

• I've got a pretty interesting story to share with my kids and grandkids one day.
• By daring to dream, I've gotten the opportunity to see many of my dreams realized. I can't imagine living a hopeless, stagnant life.
• I have an awesome group of friends, family and supporters who cheer me on and are inspired by my vision. Having cheerleaders is a real motivator to keep it movin'!

And then again,

• It's not always easy to convince the people who care about me that the choices I make in life will all work out in the end.
• Being different is hard work! Being Miss Understood is a daily occurence.
• Committing to being a non-conventionalist takes a lot of discipline and constant introspection. Trust me, the picture is not always pretty!

In a nutshell, I feel incredibly grateful to be a part of what I feel is a very special group of people in the universe.

The Law of Attraction + Action = Utter Satisfaction

I'm an eclectic or an eccentric or whatever the latest fancy description they're using for creative types these days. I've always been this way. The one thing that can really kill the creative spirit is being a part of a hostile, dream-killing environment--one that suppresses rather than nurtures new ideas. In the past, I  attracted some less than stellar working environments; in part because I couldn't imagine what it would be like to work for a company I adored and also because I wasn't quite sure what I wanted out of a company. So I came up with the following list that I thought might help me to attract my dream company.

Career Must Haves:

• Must offer cross-departmental training
• Must love diversity
• Must be service-oriented
• Must offer fairly flexible hours
• Must be innovative
• Must be a friendly environment for creative types

I decided to put this new method of attraction to the test during my most recent job search and about 2 weeks later I received an email of a job posting that blew my mind! It was an ideal match based on all of my newly affirmed requirements. It was like divine intervention. Here I was receiving what felt like a message from the Almighty saying that its okay to have vision and clarity of mission.

BUT!!! It wasn't receiving the word on this cool and hip new job that helped me to land it! Getting a job with my dream employer required swift, decisive and determined action on my part. I couldn't just want it, I had to go for it! I didn't just do the regular resume upload, cliche cover letter and click send. I literally sold myself and in turn required that the company sell itself to me.

I am now happily employed with a company that makes its people its mission, both in word and deed. It embraces diversity, offers flexibility and is perhaps the most innovative company I've ever even read about. Oh and by the way, not only does it cross-train its employees, it encourages and rewards its employees for engaging in professional development opportunities.

I can't say that it was just the Law of Attraction that brought me to my dream job; rather, it was both the combination of clarifying my vision and deciding to go for the goal that made all the difference.

Resources for Individuals: Idealist.com/blog
Resources for Companies: All In by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton

"There is no them"

It may sound a little vain but I love to meet people who are as creative, quirky, innovative, and as passionate I am. I'm talkin' folks who push the envelope and aren't afraid to do it. Folks who understand that we've actually got choices and options in life and we don't have to remain in the same ole' rut just because tradition tells us so. Recently I had the pleasure of meeting and working with one such person.

Laura Clemons, founder and CEO of Collaborative Communities Management Company, is by far one of the most interesting people I've ever met. And I know some interesting people. An arts major with a Master's in Education, Laura's mission is to help fuel collaboration within communities to affect change. This weekend I had the chance to co-facilitate a design workshop, aptly named a Charrette, with her to observe first-hand just how powerful of a mission that is.

A group of us including Laura, several content experts and facilitators, met with a group of 25 high school students who attend P.D. Jackson Olin High School who had qualified to participate in the workshop by writing an essay about their vision for their neighborhoods. In light of the recent tornado damage the area received in April 2011, it was no surprise that many of the students' essays included ideas for improving the devastated area. Among some ideas for improvement was to re-build the community in a manner that is inclusive of youth and encourages youth to take stock in their neighborhoods. Content experts spoke on topics like mixed-use buildings, greenspace, trails, connectivity, and universal accessibility. Afterwards the students went on a walking tour of the area and designed a plan of action for their ideas.

It was truly amazing to witness young people learn to take ownership of their neighborhoods and essentially, their lives in the process. One of my favorite takeaways was a quote that Laura shared, "There is no them". In other words, if you bear witness to a problem, issue or situation, or it affects you in anyway, YOU alone are responsible for enacting the change you want to see. The students will present their ideas at a local city hall meeting next month. Kudos to Laura and all of the contributors of the project!

Other-Smothered

My mom always likes to recount how industrious I was as a child. She says my first "business venture" involved me picking flowers out of the neighbors yard and then knocking on their doors to sell those same flowers back to them. At the time, it seemed like a good idea.

When I was 19 and wanted to add some income to supplement my minimum-wage-paying job, I purchased a 100 piece lot of jewelry  from a friend of mine and resold it at a 300% markup. It worked! I started successfully selling jewelry pieces to friends and family, at local hair shows, flea markets, city fairs and even had a Peddler's License. I could smell a sale from a mile away. I was, by all accounts, winning!

Eventually I opened a street corner store front. No really!! I was on a street corner with literally all of my inventory sprawled out on one of those 8x8 fold up tables you get from Walmart.  I even hired a security guard to stand watch during my street corner transactions. One night some friends spotted me and pulled over. "Giirrrl, why you out here hustlin' and stuff?" they asked. "You get kicked out?" "Girl, you need a ride?"

Here I was with a vision, a fully executed plan, a license, and $600 in so-called "hustle" money. So what did I do? I packed up the remainder of my inventory, paid my security guard, packed my trunk and drove off crying my eyes out. I was humiliated that my peers would think about me this way. None of what they'd said was true and yet it brought my vision crashing down and I let it completely transform my plan, my business.

Now I look back and realize that I still occasionally fall victim to other-smothering. There are still times when my fear of public reaction and disdain get the better of my logic. I've been sidetracked more than once by a hyper-consciousness of other's reactions to my unconventional approach. But I've learned that it takes a type of bold obliviousness to others reactions and with the best of intentions our peers can often project their own fears on to us. My advice is to flee from all signs of dream-tampering and pursue your visions boldly and diligently.

However it flows...

So I've been starting a blog for the past 2 years or so and just never got around to doing it. I've started a million projects in between and wanted a blog for each project. But I never could get a hang on how to formulate what I wanted to say. I guess you can say I'm more of a sporadic thinker and do my best work when there isn't the pressure to "get it right" or make it fit into a tiny little concise box.

 I'm finally at a place now where I feel like however it flows it however it goes.

And true to form, I'm still in the middle of several projects. Some for business and some for pleasure. This time, however, I'm opting for a natural progression of thought and I'm choosing not to buck against the ebb and flow of my thoughts and thus my life.

I am by nature a sharer of information. When I learn it or hear it and it piques my interest, I have to share it. Thus, the plan for this blog is to be a platform for those random thoughts and tidbits of wisdom and insight I gather along the way. Occasionally, there will be shameless plugs for my own ventures, and for projects, products, services and  events that I deem to be of value for the readers of this blog.

I won't promise or commit to a regular routine of posting simply because I never know where mother moon may take me. However, I will remain consistent in my commitment to only post and accept posts with positive, informative, life-enriching information and resources. If you prefer ranting and raving, feel free to visit my Facebook page. :-)

I hope you enjoy! Welcome to Muriel's Dream!